Family Matters

I spent the weekend out in our summer house together with my family! It was very pleasant actually, my grandma has a birthday tomorrow so it was kind of a celebration to her but also a "hey I'm home"-thingy for me. There was a lot of people out there actually; my youngest older sister and her boyfriend, my grandma and grandpa, my aunt her husband and my cousin with girlfriend, my grandmas brother and his wife, and off course my mom, dad, and brother! There were a lot of drinking and eating involved, we shoot some bow, played some typical swedish games (Kubb), and just hung out.
The summer house is newly renovated and it's just amazingly beautiful, big windows everywhere that overlooks the ocean and the forest view, awesome bathrooms, and very bright and very "designy" everywhere. On top of that it has become a very "green" house, in that matter that we have very modern bathroom solutions; the waste falls down to a big tank underneath the house where it turns into mulch and dirt. The heating of the house comes from underneath the ground, and my dad has plans of putting up Sun-screens that will provide the house with electricity. We have internet in almost every room and now my sisters boyfriend fixed so that we have wireless internet in the whole house too. It's just a very modern but very green house! I like!

When my family meets, there are certain stories that have to be told, over and over again, one is about me; how I sang a song wrong when I was very young, another is when my grandpa flipped a plate over and a sausage fell in his lap, and so on and so on. These are fun stories and all, but I think we need to have some new ones cause they are getting pretty old. My mom and her sister always laughs a LOT and it's very funny, they both have a very distinct laugh that sounds exactly the same! It's hilarious! Me, my cousin and his girlfriend sat up late and just talked about a lot of stuff, that was very nice too! They are good people! I showed some movies of the coasters I have ridden, and the coasters that I will ride when me and Rick goes to Cedar Point in August!

It was a very pleasant weekend, and today everyone went back home, including me. So here I am, all alone in a big house in Sweden, with one word in mind: PARTY!!!
Hehe, maybe not, but I will probably have a small gathering sometime soon!

Until then, peace out, keep it real, and stay black!

Home?

Home, it can mean so many different things. It can mean the place where you were born, the place where your loved ones are, the place where you put your ass, and now even an online 3D community on your Playstation 3. Home to me is a place where you feel, that's right: like home, you feel comfortable and you are enjoying yourself. I don't think Sweden is home for me any more... I adapted so well to the U.S-way of life, I have my life there and I feel free in a completely different way than I do here in Sweden.
The biggest thing for me was that I now have realized that I have come so far in my personal development, the sad thing is, it feels like everything here in my old home is the exact same as it was when I left. Everyone is exactly the same, everything is exactly the same, and everything looks exactly the same.
I don't think this is anything weird, and I certainly doesn't judge anyone for not changing, it's just natural when one are living in the same city, hanging out with the exact same people and do the exact same things all the time. I had to change, I had to stand on my own feet, getting a license, doing my taxes, buying food, make a budget etc. Otherwise I wouldn't have made it over there. That's why it's strange to be back here living with my parents again... it's like I traveled back in time 'til when I was 15.

I'm going back the 17th of July, but I'm regretting taking even that much time for a visit back to my former home. A week has passed since I landed here in Stockholm and it feels like it has been a year. Time is crawling by, and no matter what I do it feels like I'm misplaced. Don't get me wrong, meeting my friends and family again has been great, but that's it. Now I feel like I've pretty much has done the things I wanted to do here and I have 3 weeks left in this country... 3 weeks. I'm bored... bored, bored, bored. Which is strange since I didn't do much during my summer break in the U.S... At least I knew that I was able to do whatever the fuck I wanted to do over there. If I wanted to go and buy a hand gun... I could. I would never do that, but it's nice to know that I have the possibility. Or not... I'm rambelling.

Bottom line is, this might have been my home once upon a time, but my home is now in a land, far far away; the land of possibilities, the land of murder, the land of hypocrisy... my home.