Home?

Home, it can mean so many different things. It can mean the place where you were born, the place where your loved ones are, the place where you put your ass, and now even an online 3D community on your Playstation 3. Home to me is a place where you feel, that's right: like home, you feel comfortable and you are enjoying yourself. I don't think Sweden is home for me any more... I adapted so well to the U.S-way of life, I have my life there and I feel free in a completely different way than I do here in Sweden.
The biggest thing for me was that I now have realized that I have come so far in my personal development, the sad thing is, it feels like everything here in my old home is the exact same as it was when I left. Everyone is exactly the same, everything is exactly the same, and everything looks exactly the same.
I don't think this is anything weird, and I certainly doesn't judge anyone for not changing, it's just natural when one are living in the same city, hanging out with the exact same people and do the exact same things all the time. I had to change, I had to stand on my own feet, getting a license, doing my taxes, buying food, make a budget etc. Otherwise I wouldn't have made it over there. That's why it's strange to be back here living with my parents again... it's like I traveled back in time 'til when I was 15.

I'm going back the 17th of July, but I'm regretting taking even that much time for a visit back to my former home. A week has passed since I landed here in Stockholm and it feels like it has been a year. Time is crawling by, and no matter what I do it feels like I'm misplaced. Don't get me wrong, meeting my friends and family again has been great, but that's it. Now I feel like I've pretty much has done the things I wanted to do here and I have 3 weeks left in this country... 3 weeks. I'm bored... bored, bored, bored. Which is strange since I didn't do much during my summer break in the U.S... At least I knew that I was able to do whatever the fuck I wanted to do over there. If I wanted to go and buy a hand gun... I could. I would never do that, but it's nice to know that I have the possibility. Or not... I'm rambelling.

Bottom line is, this might have been my home once upon a time, but my home is now in a land, far far away; the land of possibilities, the land of murder, the land of hypocrisy... my home.